{"id":5246,"date":"2026-02-07T12:18:15","date_gmt":"2026-02-07T11:18:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/index.php\/2026\/02\/07\/how-cognitive-dissonance-shows-up-in-our-relationships\/"},"modified":"2026-02-07T12:18:15","modified_gmt":"2026-02-07T11:18:15","slug":"how-cognitive-dissonance-shows-up-in-our-relationships","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/index.php\/2026\/02\/07\/how-cognitive-dissonance-shows-up-in-our-relationships\/","title":{"rendered":"How Cognitive Dissonance Shows Up in Our Relationships"},"content":{"rendered":"
Cognitive dissonance is all around us. Cognitive dissonance is the psychological theory that describes the discomfort that results from holding two or more opposing beliefs, or the conflict between an action and a single belief. Maybe you experience it when rationalizing eating meat even though you\u2019re an avowed animal lover, or taking the elevator when you know taking the stairs would be good exercise. ( 1 ) It comes as no surprise then that cognitive dissonance creeps into our relationships, too. \u201cIt impacts relationships in every way possible, both positively and negatively,\u201d says Paraskevi Noulas, PsyD , a clinical associate professor at NYU Langone Health in New York City. No relationship is off-limits \u2014 cognitive dissonance can be found in all of our social ties, from friendship to marriage. Here are some examples.
\n Friendships \t How Cognitive Dissonance Affects Friendships Think of a friend you\u2019ve known for many years. If you were to trace your friendship back to the very beginning, you\u2019ll likely realize you bonded over a shared interest or circumstance. Maybe you attended junior high together or met in a theater group in college. Decades later, you probably aren\u2019t the same people you were back then. \u201cOftentimes our beliefs and values will change as we grow up, and we may encounter new differences between ourselves and old friends,\u201d says Corrine Leikam, PsyD , an adjunct professor at Pepperdine University who is based in Woodland Hills, California. But that doesn\u2019t mean you need to break up with your friend because you don\u2019t have as many things in common. Instead, you may adjust your values and beliefs so they are in sync with that of your friend. RELATED: We Experience Cognitive Dissonance in Real Life All the Time For example, if you stop liking acting that doesn\u2019t mean you won\u2019t support your friend\u2019s pursuits as an actor \u2014 though it may require some personal reconciling to accept that this interest is still important to your friend despite it not being important to you anymore. Cognitive dissonance also comes up in everyday friend situations. Let\u2019s say your friend was supposed to meet you at the movie theater. \u201cI arrive and she\u2019s already in the theater, and now I have to stand in a long line by myself and might not even get a ticket because it\u2019s almost sold out,\u201d Dr. Noulas says. Why didn\u2019t she buy you a ticket and wait for you? You\u2019ll then face the dissonance: Do you stay? Or do you go? Your mind naturally will start filling with examples of other situations when your friend wasn\u2019t super helpful. You experience dissonance because you like your friend and you\u2019re typically happy to spend time with her, but you\u2019re also angry with her for this time and potentially others when she acted in a way that frustrates you or makes extra work for you. \u201cYou either decide that yes, she\u2019s a great friend and this isn\u2019t important, it\u2019s no big deal to wait in line,\u201d Noulas says. Or ultimately you decide, no, she\u2019s constantly doing inconsiderate things like this and you\u2019re tired of it, so you leave or start to invest less energy in that friendship.
\n Dating \t How Cognitive Dissonance Affects Dating Similar situations occur within romantic relationships, but it can become a bit more complicated if and when the person involved is someone you see as a potential life-long partner. Many women and men have a checklist of what they may be looking for in a partner \u2014 they should come from a good family, should be well-educated, should be kind. \u201cObviously, it will be very rare to find someone with every single characteristic on your list or exactly matching goals,\u201d Dr. Leikam says. So you compromise in order for the relationship to work. Let\u2019s say you fall in love with a man or woman from a different religion, for example. \u201cYour family is against the marriage, and you also never thought you\u2019d marry someone outside of your religion,\u201d Noulas says. You\u2019re left with a choice: You can magnify the importance of religion and break up with him or her, justifying your decision by saying it never would have worked out. Or you can choose to stay with him or her and tell yourself religion actually isn\u2019t all that important to you. You\u2019ll rationalize that choice by saying you don\u2019t practice your religion much anyway or that it\u2019s more important to find someone who is kind and faithful than someone who comes from the same religious background, Noulas says. To make the relationship work, \u201cwe may rationalize the negative characteristics in order to align with our vision of what the relationship should be,\u201d Leikam says. It can be positive if you decide to drop unrealistic expectations. Or it can be negative if you end up minimizing concerning personality traits (\u201cred flags\u201d), Leikam says.
\n Marriage \t How Cognitive Dissonance Affects Marriages Similar to friendships, in marriage \u201cyou will grow and change and make an effort to keep the relationship alive and thriving,\u201d Leikam says. Cognitive dissonance can result when you and your husband or wife have different views, attitudes, or behaviors. Sometimes, you\u2019ll just let your partner\u2019s behavior slide, and other times you\u2019ll adjust your own beliefs to be consistent with theirs, such as when you start rooting for a sports team or following a particular type of music because your partner is into that and you want to share that activity. But things get sticky if you end up compromising your values for the sake of the marriage. For example, if you stop volunteering for an organization you\u2019ve always cared about or stop a hobby because your partner doesn\u2019t support it or isn\u2019t interested. How severe the dissonance is depends on the behavior and how big of a gap there is between the behavior and your beliefs, Leikam says. Let\u2019s say you stop playing in a ping-pong league you used to be part of with some coworkers because after you get married you realize it\u2019s cutting into a night you and your spouse have together. Though you used to enjoy the ping-pong league, you realize you\u2019d rather devote that time to your marriage, ping-pong is not a passion of yours, and you see your coworkers at the office anyway. The dissonance or discomfort you feel is likely not that great. Let\u2019s say your spouse gets transferred to a different state for work. The conflict you feel having to leave behind friends, family, and your old routines to be with your spouse is probably greater. And sometimes dealing with and accepting a bit of dissonance helps marriages last. According to an article from the American Psychological Association, people in happy marriages tend to give their partner the benefit of the doubt and focus on the things that make their spouse wonderful rather than dwelling on his or her shortcomings. ( 2 ) RELATED: What You Should Know About How Stress Affects Relationships For instance, if one person comes home cranky one night, someone in a happy marriage would chalk it up to a bad day at work rather than deciding their partner is a jerk and the marriage is doomed. In these cases, accepting that there will be some conflicts and disagreements \u2014 such as over a paint color for a bedroom or who\u2019s turn it is to fold the laundry \u2014 allows happy couples to focus on the more significant things keeping them together, like family values, honesty, and genuine care for one another.
\n Abusive Relationships \t The Role Cognitive Dissonance Plays in Abusive Relationships It\u2019s important to note that too much dissonance can enable abuse in relationships, too. Oftentimes the abused partner is motivated to make the relationship work, Leikam explains. In abusive relationships, the abused partner may justify the abuser\u2019s behavior and downplay what happened and how it made them feel to reduce the dissonance , Noulas says. Abused partners in these types of relationships may have trouble deciding whether to stay or leave since they may minimize the violence as an exception that doesn\u2019t represent the person\u2019s past behavior. ( 3 ) So a woman might say it\u2019s okay that her boyfriend hit her because it was a one-time thing and usually he is more loving. Or she may come up with reasons it was her fault, not his.<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Cognitive dissonance is all around us. Cognitive dissonance is the psychological theory that describes the discomfort that results from holding … <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"fifu_image_url":"","fifu_image_alt":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[25],"class_list":["post-5246","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-health","tag-health"],"yoast_head":"\nHow Cognitive Dissonance Shows Up in Our Relationships - Your Daily News Dose of the World\u2019s Hottest Headlines<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/index.php\/2026\/02\/07\/how-cognitive-dissonance-shows-up-in-our-relationships\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How Cognitive Dissonance Shows Up in Our Relationships - Your Daily News Dose of the World\u2019s Hottest Headlines\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Cognitive dissonance is all around us. Cognitive dissonance is the psychological theory that describes the discomfort that results from holding …\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/index.php\/2026\/02\/07\/how-cognitive-dissonance-shows-up-in-our-relationships\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Your Daily News Dose of the World\u2019s Hottest Headlines\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/web.facebook.com\/breakingworldnewz\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-02-07T11:18:15+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"7 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/index.php\/2026\/02\/07\/how-cognitive-dissonance-shows-up-in-our-relationships\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/index.php\/2026\/02\/07\/how-cognitive-dissonance-shows-up-in-our-relationships\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/#\/schema\/person\/5aeaae84fc0165f86114b488042d6803\"},\"headline\":\"How Cognitive Dissonance Shows Up in Our Relationships\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-02-07T11:18:15+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/index.php\/2026\/02\/07\/how-cognitive-dissonance-shows-up-in-our-relationships\/\"},\"wordCount\":1417,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/#organization\"},\"keywords\":[\"health\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Health\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/index.php\/2026\/02\/07\/how-cognitive-dissonance-shows-up-in-our-relationships\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/index.php\/2026\/02\/07\/how-cognitive-dissonance-shows-up-in-our-relationships\/\",\"name\":\"How Cognitive Dissonance Shows Up in Our Relationships - Your Daily News Dose of the World\u2019s Hottest Headlines\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2026-02-07T11:18:15+00:00\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/index.php\/2026\/02\/07\/how-cognitive-dissonance-shows-up-in-our-relationships\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/index.php\/2026\/02\/07\/how-cognitive-dissonance-shows-up-in-our-relationships\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/index.php\/2026\/02\/07\/how-cognitive-dissonance-shows-up-in-our-relationships\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"How Cognitive Dissonance Shows Up in Our Relationships\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/\",\"name\":\"Your Daily News Dose of the World\u2019s Hottest Headlines\",\"description\":\"\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/#organization\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Organization\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/#organization\",\"name\":\"Your Daily News Dose of the World\u2019s Hottest Headlines\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/\",\"logo\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/cropped-bNewsLogo.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/cropped-bNewsLogo.jpg\",\"width\":973,\"height\":256,\"caption\":\"Your Daily News Dose of the World\u2019s Hottest Headlines\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\"},\"sameAs\":[\"https:\/\/web.facebook.com\/breakingworldnewz\"]},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/#\/schema\/person\/5aeaae84fc0165f86114b488042d6803\",\"name\":\"admin\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/ba701f8772b94da97130be38b0fa603b904c5e879d77c650c2c8f50718c19077?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/ba701f8772b94da97130be38b0fa603b904c5e879d77c650c2c8f50718c19077?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"admin\"},\"sameAs\":[\"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\"],\"url\":\"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/index.php\/author\/soeadmin\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"How Cognitive Dissonance Shows Up in Our Relationships - Your Daily News Dose of the World\u2019s Hottest Headlines","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/index.php\/2026\/02\/07\/how-cognitive-dissonance-shows-up-in-our-relationships\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"How Cognitive Dissonance Shows Up in Our Relationships - Your Daily News Dose of the World\u2019s Hottest Headlines","og_description":"Cognitive dissonance is all around us. Cognitive dissonance is the psychological theory that describes the discomfort that results from holding …","og_url":"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/index.php\/2026\/02\/07\/how-cognitive-dissonance-shows-up-in-our-relationships\/","og_site_name":"Your Daily News Dose of the World\u2019s Hottest Headlines","article_publisher":"https:\/\/web.facebook.com\/breakingworldnewz","article_published_time":"2026-02-07T11:18:15+00:00","author":"admin","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"admin","Est. reading time":"7 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/index.php\/2026\/02\/07\/how-cognitive-dissonance-shows-up-in-our-relationships\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/index.php\/2026\/02\/07\/how-cognitive-dissonance-shows-up-in-our-relationships\/"},"author":{"name":"admin","@id":"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/#\/schema\/person\/5aeaae84fc0165f86114b488042d6803"},"headline":"How Cognitive Dissonance Shows Up in Our Relationships","datePublished":"2026-02-07T11:18:15+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/index.php\/2026\/02\/07\/how-cognitive-dissonance-shows-up-in-our-relationships\/"},"wordCount":1417,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/#organization"},"keywords":["health"],"articleSection":["Health"],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/index.php\/2026\/02\/07\/how-cognitive-dissonance-shows-up-in-our-relationships\/","url":"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/index.php\/2026\/02\/07\/how-cognitive-dissonance-shows-up-in-our-relationships\/","name":"How Cognitive Dissonance Shows Up in Our Relationships - Your Daily News Dose of the World\u2019s Hottest Headlines","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/#website"},"datePublished":"2026-02-07T11:18:15+00:00","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/index.php\/2026\/02\/07\/how-cognitive-dissonance-shows-up-in-our-relationships\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/index.php\/2026\/02\/07\/how-cognitive-dissonance-shows-up-in-our-relationships\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/index.php\/2026\/02\/07\/how-cognitive-dissonance-shows-up-in-our-relationships\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"How Cognitive Dissonance Shows Up in Our Relationships"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/","name":"Your Daily News Dose of the World\u2019s Hottest Headlines","description":"","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/#organization","name":"Your Daily News Dose of the World\u2019s Hottest Headlines","url":"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/cropped-bNewsLogo.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/cropped-bNewsLogo.jpg","width":973,"height":256,"caption":"Your Daily News Dose of the World\u2019s Hottest Headlines"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/web.facebook.com\/breakingworldnewz"]},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/#\/schema\/person\/5aeaae84fc0165f86114b488042d6803","name":"admin","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/ba701f8772b94da97130be38b0fa603b904c5e879d77c650c2c8f50718c19077?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/ba701f8772b94da97130be38b0fa603b904c5e879d77c650c2c8f50718c19077?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"admin"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/news.infotekps.com"],"url":"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/index.php\/author\/soeadmin\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5246","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5246"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5246\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5246"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5246"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/news.infotekps.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5246"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}